you're living in someone's dream

2011-12-08T14:30:00.003+08:00

It is good to be reminded from time to time we tend to forget and take things for granted.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A Trucker's Last Letter

Steamboat Mountain was a man killer, and truckers who hauled the Alaska Highway treated it with great respect. Particularly in the winter, the road used to curve and twist over the mountain, and sheer cliffs dropped away sharply from the icy road. Countless trucks and truckers have been lost there over the years and many dreams were dashed upon its rocky slopes.

Many years ago on one trip up the highway, I came upon an RCMP cruiser and several wreckers winching the remains of a semi up the cliff. I parked my rig and went over to the quiet group of truckers who were watching the wreckage slowly come into sight.
One of the Mounties walked over to us and spoke quietly. "I'm sorry," he said. "The driver was dead when we found him. He must have gone over the side two days ago when we had a bad snowstorm. There weren't many tracks. It was just a fluke that we noticed the sun shining off some chrome."

He shook his head slowly and reached into his parka pocket. "Here, maybe you guys should read this. I guess he lived for a couple of hours until the cold got to him."

My Darling Wife,

This is a letter that no man ever wants to write, but I'm lucky enough to have some time to say what I've forgotten to say so many times.

I love you, Sweetheart.

You used to kid me that I loved the truck more than you because I spent more time with her. I do love this piece of iron -- she's been good to me. She's seen me through tough times and tough places and I could always count on her in a long haul and she was speedy in the stretches. She never let me down.

But you want to know something? I love you for the same reasons. You've seen me through the tough times and places, too.

Remember the first truck? That run down "old corn binder" that kept us broke all the time but always made just enough money to keep us eating? You went out and got a job so that we could pay the rent and bills. Every cent I made went into the truck while your money kept us in food with a roof over our heads.

I remember that I complained about the truck, but I don't remember you ever complaining when you came home tired from work and I asked you for money to go on the road again. If you did complain, I guess I didn't hear you. I was too wrapped up with my problems to think of yours.

I think now of all the things you gave up for me. The clothes, the holidays, the parties, the friends. You never complained and somehow I never remembered to thank you for being you.

When I sat having coffee with the boys, I always talked about the truck, my rig, my payments. I guess I forgot you were my partner even if you weren't in the cab with me. It was your sacrifices and determination as much as mine that finally got the new truck. I was so proud of that truck I was bursting. I was proud of you, too, but I never told you that. I took it for granted you knew, but if I had spent as much time talking with you as I did polishing chrome, perhaps I would have.

I always knew your prayers rode with me. But this time they weren't enough. I'm hurt and it's bad. I've made my last mile and I want to say the things that should have been said so many times before. The things that were forgotten because I was too concerned about the truck and the job. I'm thinking about the missed anniversaries and birthdays. The school plays and hockey games that you went to alone because I was on the road.

I'm thinking of the peace of mind I had knowing that you were at home with the kids, waiting for me. The family dinners where you spent all your time telling your folks why I couldn't make it -- I was busy changing oil, I was busy looking for parts; I was sleeping because I was leaving early the next morning.

There was always a reason, but somehow they don't seem very important right now.
When we were married, you didn't know how to change a light bulb. Within a couple of years, you were fixing the furnace in a blizzard while I was waiting for a load in Florida. You became a pretty good mechanic, helping me with repairs, and I was mighty proud of you that time you jumped into the truck and backed it up over the rose bushes.

I was proud of you when I pulled into the yard and saw you sleeping in the car waiting for me. Whether it was two in the morning or two in the afternoon, you always looked like a movie star to me. You're beautiful, you know. I guess I haven't told you that lately, but you are.

I made lots of mistakes in my life, but if I only ever made one good decision, it was when I asked you to marry me. You never could understand what it was that kept me trucking. I couldn't either, but it was my way of life and you stuck with me. Good times, bad times, you were always there.

I love you sweetheart, and I love our kids.

My body hurts but my heart hurts even more. You won't be there when I end this trip. For the first time since we've been together, I'm really alone and it scares me. I need you so badly, and I know it's too late.

It's funny I guess, but what I have now is the truck. This damned truck that ruled our lives for so long. This twisted hunk of steel that I lived in and with for so many years. But it can't return my love. Only you can do that.

You're a thousand miles away but I feel you here with me. I can see your face and feel your love and I'm scared to make the final run alone.

Tell the kids that I love them very much and don't let them drive any truck for a living.

I guess that's about it honey. My God, but I love you so very much. Take care of yourself and always remember that I loved you more than anything in life.

I just forgot to tell you.

I Love You,
Bill

- Author Unknown –

Singlish 4: Study Like Xiao

2011-12-03T01:06:00.000+08:00

hahahaha i loved the fruit part.

2011-12-03T01:03:00.000+08:00

hey guys!!! A's are OVER!!!

Due to the weird spamming people posting on my cbox, i have deactivated my account there. And also due to my recent (okay actually not that recent) fetish with reading tumblrs, ive created a tumblr account and am still figuring out how to use it. :)

Though its not certain as to whether this blog will be abandoned for good, I hope to keep it here for me to have something to remember by after many years later. :)

I guess in future when tumblr's not that addictive anymore, i might still post some stuff here and there. haha

And i guess i'd post like my usual list of to dos and christmas wish lists and stuff here too so that though the chances are rather slim, people do actually read them and help me fulfill them. haha

okay this is not a farewell to blogger just yet but i just wanna tell those who reads this a big thank you if you have been reading every now and then but if you are some creepy stalker, BUG OFF ZOMG AND GET A LIFE!

okay. thats all i gotta say.

TOOTLES!!!

LIFE IS AMAZING!

2011-11-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

I have a confession to make...

I said the F word out loud twice today.

Once when i was sorta late for the Math paper. Not late late but still... i know i know it's terrible i should prolly change my late habits but listen to me first.

So i was all flustered and having crazy woman hair and lugging my 2 GCs, my jacket, my trusty alarm clock, my pencil case, ez link, water bottle and wallet (I DONT KNOW WHY I BROUGHT MY WALLET) then running towards the hall, then my wallet dropped to the ground. So i monologued "please dont do this to me now" and was contemplating if i should leave my wallet outside the hall.

Then i decided against the idea and continued making my way to the door when MY BELOVED STARBUCKS TUMBLER FELL TO THE GROUND. It was not a normal piack! then got a few cracks kind. :( It just like broke. Like the outer covering came off and it was left with its black naked core that looks like a trombone muffler. So there. I said the F word once and heck cared it and went to the hall.

The second time was when I was washing my bottle cause i filled it with coffee earlier on. Since it broke, and the outer covering was gone and in an unrepairable state. So there was the rough plastic edges along the sides where it was supposed to be joined with the outer covering. I was trying to open my bottle up which usually requires a herculean effort and then I cut my finger. And blood red ~Fe(H2O)5(SCN) 2+ flowed out. So there. I said it again.

IM TURNING VULGAR!!!!!!!!!

WHATS WRONG WITH ME!

Ellen - Writer Amy goes through a haunted house

2011-10-15T23:01:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!! THIS IS SOOO FUNNY!

2011-09-30T21:17:00.004+08:00

As part of my visualise, actualise, prayrise plan, Im here to tell you guys my results.

A level results slip:

General Paper A

Project Work A

Mathematics A

Chemistry A

Physics A

Economics A

Now that Ive told you, there's no turning back. This IS my results.

I have the potential to achieve it. I can. I will.

Don't ask my how i did on results day, this will be my results.

I BELIEVE IN MYSELF. I CAN ACHIEVE.

2011-09-27T08:02:00.001+08:00

2011-09-27T07:58:00.001+08:00

AWWWW!!! I really miss the kitty cat in VJC! cant find the orangey kitten anymore. :(

2011-09-24T15:17:00.006+08:00

Hmm... Post prelims reflections:

It's not that i feel like crying now but im just really disappointed with my performance this time round. Once again, its the whole cycle of not doing enough, not enough timed practices, careless work and so on. Then i thought to myself, if im still not getting it right during prelims, what makes me think that the next time-- A levels would be any different?

I remembered that after GP/ Econs exams day, i was so freaking pissed off with myself that i wrote a personal letter to myself. It was sort of a slap in the face wake up call thing and also to remind myself how motivated i should be and how much i have to really improve after this round of exams.

Im going to be realistic and not yearn for too much when the results come out this time and yet stay optimistic that i can and will and must achieve my targets by A levels.

45 more days people. 1.5 months? it's really time to hardcore all the way. JIAYOU SI MIN!!!!!!!!

YOU ARE SMART AND PRETTY AND HARDWORKING!

oh. kathleen sent me this the other day:

"The horse is made ready for the day of batlle, But victory rests with the LORD."

-proverbs 21:31

Today and for the next month ahead, let us do all we can, to prepare our horses for battle, a horse fit to fight for the Glory of God. But as we do so, let us remember that the battle isnt ours to win, give it to God, for HIs is the side of victory! Pray that He'll be the commander of the battle, not ourselves! Why shall we be worried about the exams when God's in control? He is THE ALMIGHTY! I pray that you'll be filled with His peace and confidence, rid of anxiety through this period, as you prepare your battle horses 'til you hand over the reigns to the God who has the world at his fingertips. :)"

though i dont exactly see A levels as a battle but i really feel that my A level journey has been made far more arduous than my O levels as i did not offer up all my anxiety and stress up to the Lord. I find it very hard to view my taking of the A levels as a part of the greater plan, of something for a greater good. Im constricted to the short sighted goal of achieving my 4 As but when people ask me "for what?" or "what course are you aiming for?" or "what do you want to be?" i am often stuck and question why im working so hard.

But i guess there's really not much spare time for me to ponder on such issues but to keep my focus on doing VERY MUCH MORE than my very best to achieve my goal. I believe in myself and in the potential that God has given to me. Im not useless and stupid and not a failure because that is not what God has planned for me. Im AWESOME! :D

2011-09-24T15:13:00.002+08:00

This was like 20 plus days overdue but yeah thought this was really insightful. After the September 11 attacks, has the America and the world learnt their lesson?

2011-09-24T15:09:00.001+08:00

Read this before but haha, made me crack up nonetheless

2011-09-24T15:06:00.001+08:00

Looks absolutely awesome! :) Did something like that a few years back. haha. the taste is pretty disappointing after looking at the cake though...

2011-09-24T15:05:00.000+08:00

2011-09-16T22:05:00.000+08:00

Happy 2nd Monthniversary!

2011-09-05T12:06:00.001+08:00

I deserve to be slapped. :(

They opened up the e assessment for Chem and I forgot to do it again! :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

2011-08-30T23:42:00.002+08:00

May the force be with you

ALL THE BEST FOR PRELIMS PEOPLE.
IM GONNA BE THE OPTIMIST I WANNA BE AND SAY THAT IM GONNA MAKE THE BEST OF MY EXAMS AND NOT REPEATEDLY EMPHASIZE HOW SCREWED I THINK I AM.

I CAN DO THIS.

LEE SI MIN IS SMART.

YES I AM.

KAMBADE! HWAITING! ALL THE WAY!

2011-08-26T01:56:00.000+08:00

2011-08-26T01:55:00.002+08:00

2011-08-26T01:38:00.004+08:00

today im gonna be blogging about ICE MILO EASY COOL!

okay yes, my studying has finally got the better of me and while reading the advert of this product, i linked it back to chemistry

WHY IS MILO POWDER SOLUBLE IN COLD WATER?
this is what ive got so far:

-when the temperature of the system is decreased, by LCP, the system will counteract the decrease in temperature by favouring the exothermic reaction which produces heat. thus, the forward reaction which is the breaking of bonds in the milo powder to form ions in water must be exo.

Eh but wait a minute, is milo even ionic?
-Enthalpy change of solution is the enthalpy change when one mole of a solute is completely dissolved in a solvent to form an infinitely dilute solution under standard conditions of 298K and 1 atm.
ΔH (sol) = ΔH (hyd) - ΔH (LE)

okay i dont know about their ΔH (hyd) but i think it kinda impossible to change the lattice energy of milo right? i mean they are made of the same ingredients meaning that they are made by the same compounds with the same lattice structure. Right?
so im back to square one.

IM STILL DUMB! :(

2011-08-13T23:20:00.003+08:00

HEYHEYHEY!!!

haha as you have noticed, i have been blogging rather frequently! which is...idk? not a v good sign i guess. Prelims are coming right up and i can't exactly say that i have not worked hard nor can i say that im ready. im kinda scared.

but i shall take a break from talking about my academics today. talk about what's up for me and all. for whoever that's reading i guess. (yoohoo anyone there? okay dont reply i'd rather not know)

My piano exam's on this coming tuesday! 16th August! which is also our monthniversary. hehe. I used to think all this anniversary monthniversary thing was rather corny and all but now that ive got a chance to experience it for myself i can't exactly say the same thing. haha. i was even excited about our weekiversary. okay im sorry i cant help it okay! okay back to the piano exam. IM NOT PREPARED! omg my scales, my arpeggios, my pieces are inconsistent... im really quite panicky over it. Im gonna do whatever i can to salvage the situation within this two days la. haha. which is why im still practising at this hour. reminds me of the phrase 平常不烧香，临时抱佛脚. haha

Was having a retarded conversation with my cousins as usual then we came across the topic of religion. As in our religion which is catholicism. My guy cousin said "you cant always please everybody in your life and you shouldn't. All you need to please is God. But sometimes, when you do things to please God, you piss off other people around you." Which is kinda true, the first part especially. So i figured that i should stop caring about what other people think about me or care less about other's opinion. Seriously, why should i get worked up over the opinion of someone who doesn't know me that well? When all that matters is the one above, looking down on us, knowing us from the moment he created us? And it makes sense that i should please him more than anybody because whatever i do for him would most probably be the right thing to do! Mental note to self, dont be so self conscious girl! :)

hmm. for all those out there who are having A levels in your face, jiayou okay! mugging's kinda getting a bit sianzx for me now but im really glad i have the right people around me to motivate me to do what's right. :D And when in doubt, or stress, just pray. or eat. haha. or exercise!

ALRIGHTY. good luck to me for my piano exams and till the next time i blog! tata!

P.S. for those who didnt know, yes im attached. :)

Korean boy sings Mariah Carey's We Belong Together (Parody: We Will All ...

2011-08-13T23:19:00.000+08:00

i laughed for 5 minutes straight! reblogged from edison

If I Die Young - The Band Perry - Cover by Michael Henry & Justin Robinett

2011-08-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

nicer than the original! AWESOME VOICES! :)

2011-08-10T12:35:00.001+08:00

2011-08-10T12:34:00.000+08:00

2011-08-06T21:29:00.001+08:00

2011-08-06T21:19:00.001+08:00

haha. say that out loud 3 times. *shark bait HOO HA HA! shark bait HOO HA HA! shark bait HOO HA HA!*

2011-08-06T21:18:00.001+08:00

Justin and Jeremy's version of The Lazy Song (Rated GP)

2011-08-06T21:13:00.000+08:00

TOO CUTE!

ordinary people- john legend

2011-08-01T00:05:00.001+08:00

awesome singer, awesome song. :)

2011-08-01T00:00:00.001+08:00

sad but true, guys. listen out for them

2011-07-31T23:35:00.003+08:00

spongebob and patrick are the only creatures who are possibly lamer than ryan tay

2011-07-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

haha. highly doubt this works. but worth a try!

2011-07-30T22:11:00.001+08:00

Omg my family damn cute. Cause my parents brought my nieces to fly kite at bedok reservoir just now then my daddy dropped his keys. So we went back to comb the area and use all our smartphones as torchlight. Then we saw this shiny thing reflecting the light. Turns out to be my dad's pen and then he was like "this proves that my keys must be somewhere near" then my mum found the keys nearby then we all like "yayyy!!" and took a pic. HAHAH

Kids sprayed in the face with water laughing

2011-07-18T01:07:00.001+08:00

it's like the water is some sort of laughing gas. *psst*---*HEHEHEHEHEH!*

if my mum did this to me everyday, i dont need to wash face ready.

2011-07-18T00:32:00.003+08:00

When i went for magnificat, my prayer meeting today after what seems like eternity, i feel this foreign surge of gratefulness to God. You know how it feels like usually when we finally find time to pray and all we could conjure to say is "please God, there are so many problems in my life, please help me to be able to..." but seldom do we genuinely feel a need to thank and praise him just cause? okay mayyyybe it's just me but still. haha. Today i just felt an overwhelming surge of gratefulness just thinking of all the love i have experienced these days.

From TOFU JAMS combined birthday surprise planned by Joy and I to the awesome Harry Potter finale with my classmates to LOL moments with my family to all the people that i felt compelled to share my exciting news to...I truly have many people around me who care. Of course not forgetting the main source of my exciting news. hehe.

Im feeling a sense of joy and love i havent experienced in a long long time and it all feels kinda surreal to me. I hope reality dont burst my bubble too soon and tinkerbell will get to live happily ever after with superman for as long as time permits.

that's all for now! :)

2011-07-18T00:19:00.002+08:00

IM A HAPPY BABY! :)

2011-07-10T23:59:00.002+08:00

hi guys, im officially late for my PQ deadline.

dont say what's new.

2011-07-07T22:44:00.003+08:00

The truth is, Im upset by all that ive been seeing on facebook these days. When i wasnt on it, i live in my small little bubble thinking that im satisfied with all that's happening around me.

Now, after i see all the birthdays you guys have celebrated together in my absence, i start asking myself. What did i do? Was i not their friend? Why were we so conveniently left out just like that?

I have been meaning to write this post for a long long time and i guess today's just that day eh? Firstly, its really tough to be in the exco, doing things against the general consensus. Its like we do all the shit work + get all the shit attitudes and the worst part is, we dont even belong in a big warm family at the end of the day.

Who are the ones who singlehandedly pull this supposedly big and happy family apart? Not us, it's you. You guys do your own thing, invite your own people and then make it seem like oh wow we are the ones that arent bonded and all. But guess what? You didnt even bother to ask. What if we really wanted to celebrate alongside these special occasions? What makes you have to right to decide that it's only the small group of you who deserve to be invited?

But it's okay guys, just carry on your ways. Divide and separate your group from the whole all you want. I'm just going to stop caring about this matter. Im just going to stop hoping that all these will improve one day. I am going to stop thinking that it's a pity how our batch has failed to keep that bond all our senior batches have managed to keep, even if its a small faltering link between everyone. Now, we have become you and your whole big awesome clique. and the rest.

This is that day I'm gonna stop letting this affect me. I hope you guys stay together and maybe one day think back on how you have pulled a family that could have been into this state.

2011-06-28T16:35:00.003+08:00

I feel like crying.

Physics paper was supposed to be easy. Thats the whole point of H1 isn't it? But on the contrary, this is probably the most screwed up paper I have ever sat for.

What is wrong with me!!! I came to school and wasted the whole morning away doing nothing much productive as a result of my x-inefficiency due to complacency. Basically, im screwed. :( beyond screwed actually. What am I doing to myself man.

And this is only the second day. Sigh.

SIMIN!!!!!! I need to pull myself together! Stop whining, start working, stop complaining, start improving!

Yes I shall do whatever I can and let God take care of the rest. I shall not be faithless and fall into despair!

회이팅 everyone! Especially those who had been %[*}>¥ by the physics paper!

2011-06-18T01:53:00.006+08:00

Yesterday , I called mel chan the da mei nu for the first time in months cause of some stupid thing and once we started talking we couldnt stop! I cant believe that we talked for 2 whole hours till like 1 am. So today i woke up relatively later. hehe.

Had consultation with Mrs Yong in the morning with Francesco then went to meet bellzxz wellzxz at MPL. I dont know what's wrong with me nowadays. so freaking distracted by every single thing out there. But yeah well. Guess i have to compensate by staying up late. Oh and then bellzxz wellzxz was craving for butter squid at thaipan so she made me take the bus all the way to eh shit what's that condo called... mandarin gardens only to find out that thaipan's still closed for renovations! so we took another bus back to eat ban mian. What monotony. hehe. I think that's all we ever eat when we go study together.

Oh yeah! and my cousin said that a police came over to "raid" her and her friends' bags (sounds weird, but dont correct my english) cause they left their bags at coffeebean at airport today and the manager reported it. The police had to put on gloves and wipe their bags with some cloth to see if there is any suspicious substance on their bags. Then when he took out some huge ass detection thing, they couldnt help but burst out laughing. As in, all they did was to leave their bags at coffeebean for lunch! And came back to face such a huge commotion. So, shouldnt go airport study nowadays. Then one of the two secret studying place i discovered the other day is officially anti-studying now! so im only left with one secret studying spot. which is rather sad. :(

Just completed my alternative assessment for physics which i was supposed to complete 1000 years ago. Ive been a big big procrastinator. But anyways, i did my research on parkour, this new craze thing where people just practically act like spiderman or something and leap around structures and buildings. It's super cool actually. Like imagine all the time you can save travelling from a place to the other and how much fats you can burn jumping here and there. Plus your brain can actively link all your motions to physics laws and theories and equations! It's like one stone kill three birds. And you will never have to engage in the mundane activity called walking that most normal human beings do. haha. lemme show you some uber cool pictures ive found!

this move is called saut de something. cant remember but i saw this video where this guy leaped from one wall to the other wall which was damn far away using this move. And i was like :O

yeah la this one is just mega cool lor.

P.S. hehe. i just reread my post and realised that its really quite no link to each other but my thoughts are very disorganized now so i cant help it. sorry

2011-06-16T08:13:00.003+08:00

8.14am on a bright and early refreshingly wet Thursday!

I'm currently hooked onto beyonce's Halo. I'm truly amazed at her vocals! Like how easily she switches tones. When people told me that beyonce is a fantabulous singer, I had my doubts but when I heard halo, i was convinced. Hopefully I can reach her standard one day eh?

Oh and judebox's long awaited busking is cancelled/postponed yet once again. :( not to be mean or whatever, this is like the...3rd time they postponed it? The organizers should really stop telling us dates they cannot promise. It's one thing to postpone once but thrice?! I mean like I was really hyped up about it and what if people had actually made plans to practice their busking songs? It's truly a waste of everybody's time and efforts if they keep up with this la. honestly, they should also have enough responsibility to inform us a lil bit earlier.

In any case, I was looking forward to crashing beefreakingannoyingleong's humble abode to practice cum record songs. But since this thing is cancelled and we really should be spending our time with our books, and poor Cheryl got chicken pox (get well soon!), we are not going ready.

Okay back to what I'm doing in school on a thursday morning... I AM FINALLY EXERCISING AFTER 2.5 WEEKS OF DOING PRACTICALLY NOTHING STRENEOUS TO ANY PART OF ME EXCEPT MY BRAIN! yayyyyyy! Joggingjoggingjoggingjogging!!! Whooooooooo!!! Heehee.

This is really random but since I'm lying on the choir room cushions while waiting for my jogging friend, I have to say that the choir room's really clean! Good job to CRC! proud of you guys! :)

2011-06-15T02:43:00.003+08:00

At two o clock, in the morning...

Yeap that was totally unnecessary reminiscing about dawn wind.

Well yes what exactly am I doing, blogging here at 2.45am on my bed? I actually have a blue mask on my face with the light from my iPhone illuminating it. Haha I think I prolly look like some ghost. Anyway, I'm surprisingly untired despite spending close to 10hours at the airport studying w 我的 cah-cheng (cousin) today! Cause the plan was to study then send my gramma off to Korea at 11-ish. Haha my gramma so cute leh! After watching 1001 Korean drama serials, she's finally going to Korea to try all the zha jiang mian, chao nian gao, kim chi all. (wait did I mention this somewhere here before?). After we sent her off, we all had a lil supper at budget terminal while waiting for my daddy to come back from Bangkok from a business trip. Eventful day huh.

Speaking of budget terminal, it had been a good 2 years since my last visit there. Mummy asked me if the god sent miracle to our house made any sort of impact on daddy. And I replied "not really." and she asked "what about you?". I said, "me? Not really too" sigh kinda guilty for it though. As in it's not any day that God would grant us such favors and me being an ungrateful forgetful human being conveniently throw that gift aside most times. I MUST APPRECIATE LIFE AND ALL THAT I'VE GOT! yes I will! So yeap I thank god for giving me my complete family and my cousins and all my friends around me! :) oh gosh im rambling.

Study session was good today! Met Ryan tay at the supposedly secluded T3 subway. Luckily didn't meet any other ppl. My hair is 101% Cui today. Had a few LOL moments with 我的 cah ceng. Overall was a good day! Oh and I discovered two new study spots today thanks to her! Next time can bring ppl there. Hehe.

Oh yeah and I had a serious realization today. I have absolutely no frigging time left! SOOOOOO MANY THINGS TO DO BUT SI-RETARDED-SLACKER-MIN is terribly behind schedule! NEHMINDZX! SI-AWESOME-NEVER-SAY-DIE-MIN will take over tomorrow and will do her utmost BEST!

To quote from someone, "optimism ftw!"

Yeap. That's pretty much my reflections of the day. Oh and lee bei (my cousin's nickname) dropped her phone and was grieving for her loss of memories that accompany the loss of her phone and I remembered how I rashly swipe the entire message conversation I ever had with a certain someone and deleted every single memory we had. How convenient yea? Our friendship, so easily erased like this? Ah why do I have to bring every post to this unworthy person everytime? Enough.

OKAY 3.09am. Time to sleep. Goodnightzx

2011-06-14T01:18:00.001+08:00

i really laughed out loud.

2011-06-14T01:16:00.000+08:00

Hehe. should try doing this one day!

2011-06-13T01:05:00.001+08:00

http://www.clicknetwork.tv/watch.aspx?c=1&p=19&v=470

watch this guys! made me crack up before they even started!

2011-06-13T01:04:00.000+08:00

where can i find someone like that?

2011-06-13T00:57:00.006+08:00

oh yeah Sarah shared a joke today:

What a teenage pregnant girl is thinking:

"Oh no, my mother is going to kill me."

What the foetus is thinking

"Oh no, my mother is going to kill me."

How true. :(

2011-06-13T00:50:00.004+08:00

Met up with TOFU JAMS today at ikea and gobbled plenty of food i was craving for!

it was nice seeing all of us together again, just didnt wanna do anything except talk! haha. typical girls eh?

Haha. Michelle and her camwhore stick. Do you guys know there's this invention called a camwhore stick that allows you to hold your camera in a distance so as to get everyone in the picture? HAHA. Joy laughed so hard that she almost (okay she kinda did) spit out the princess cake she was eating. HAHAHA. Embarrassment.

yes and as today's TOFU JAMS @ IKEA meeting comes to a close, it officially marks the end of my social life.

I will have no life everyday from now on except for one short burst of life on 18th June when busking with Jude Box. YEAP! looking forward to 18th June maxxxxx!

I even had to resort to means like passing my facebook password to my nemesis-of-the-century so as to prevent myself from wasting time there! YES I AM DETERMINED TO NOT WASTE TIME ANYMOREEEE!!!

2011-06-08T00:49:00.002+08:00

yeah, now i know that just because you said it, doesnt neccessarily show that you meant it.

You broke my heart by making me realise how fast and easy it was for you to let go.

Dont pretend you actually care anymore and dont you even worry about me. Im slowly but steadily forgetting about you just like how you wanted.

Thanks for being the first thing in my life that hurts.

2011-06-06T09:43:00.002+08:00

HELLO WORLD!

brand new day, brand new start! :D

no more facebook, no more distractions and no more procrastination!

say bye bye to Si-dont-know-anything-Min and hello to Si-damn-zai-mugger-Min!

WHOOHOO! :)

off to school to study now!

2011-06-05T23:59:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2NEU6Xf7lM&feature=share

please take a moment to listen!
Hallelujiah indeed. Thanks alexandria for showing me this video.

2011-06-03T22:34:00.001+08:00

2011-06-03T21:52:00.003+08:00

when i picked up the house phone to call sarah today, it suddenly dawned upon me how long it has been since i last picked it up.

It really has been a long long time since i had someone to call to rant or muse about life. I really miss that dependance i had on you. Who can i call now that you remove yourself from my life, W?

Now im feeling sad all over again.

2011-06-01T23:39:00.004+08:00

okay on a lighter note,

JUDEBOX went for toby's today! :) We were up for the childream (yeap no spelling error)'s movie marathon thing. Honestly felt like some cheap entertainment that's there for the sake of being there. We sang Angel by sarah mclachlan and Inside Your heaven sung my carrie underwood and though our performance wasnt all that awesome (it was decent enough) but the audience were horrible! There were people streaming in halfway through the song, people laughing, people talking, people message, people eating all at the same time. Would have felt a little more indignant if I actually cared more. But truth is we really couldnt be bothered to so it didnt push my buttons a lot.

im so tired now. And when im tired i'll sing the "im so tired" song by beatles and then i'll feel stupid singing that song. Okay im dozing off while typing so i shouldnt be blogging anymore! Okay tata world, I should be studying.

2011-06-01T23:32:00.004+08:00

im feeling so conflicted.

Why am I being such a bitch at home and everything's fine outside? it's like im stepping into a realm of mean-ness when i get home. Everything my mum/dad says feel like pricks and i turn on my disgusting irritating voice and bitch face and reply. i know its wrong and i dont like myself like that but i just cant help it. Is this what they call the adolescent stage where you basically rebutt everything your parents say regardless of whether your arguement is valid or not? Sigh.

I dont like how they keep on telling me that im not focused enough (even though it's true)
I dont like how they pluck me off the seat in front of the laptop (even though i really should get off this chair now)
I dont like how they reprimand me and threaten to take away my phone.
I seriously dont like how they take my assistance as a pianist for granted and ask me to play for a service the day before when i havent had enough practice for everything and will definitely screw it all up.
AHHHHH

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! :(

2011-05-07T09:50:00.004+08:00

hey guys!

300th post since forever. haha. im pretty confused nowadays (apart from being lazy and stupid). I no longer know what's appropriate and what's not and everything's getting jumbled up. But i shall trust my heart and brainwash myself that its not what i think it is. (haha, bet none of you understand what im talking about)

Anyway, yesterday was the pretend-we-are-not-J2s-and-slack-off-without-feeling-an-ounce-of-guilt day. Cause 10S51 went to Marina Square and watched 2 movies in a row!!! Fast and Furious and Room-mate. Both shows were fine, room mate was seriously disturbing also because apart from it being a lesbian-ish movie, there were 2 gays sitting beside my friend. haha.

The whole day was totally like mega eventful starting with cheryl and I running into school alongside a lot of other people cause we were ALMOST going to be late. HAHA. but we made it! then I think the lactic acid in my muscles from 5 stations the previous day made me seriously annoying and i was freaking high the whole day, making stupid statements in class. haha, i think if i did that in Cedar, i would have been slaughtered by all my friends. So yeah, thanks S51 for tolerating my high-ness!

Oh then when we went to Marina, and sat down for the movie, xuan xuan and beefreakingannoyingleong stood up and frantically rushed off from the cinema. turns out that beefreakingannoyingleong dislocated his jaw. It was quite epic in the sense that he dislocated it while eating the popcorn. HAHAHAHA! open mouth too big while trying to stuff in all the popcorn inside. PIG. anyway, somehow he managed to stuff it back and yeah all was fine in the end.

Oh then when we left the theatre after fast and furious 5, i realised my phone wasnt with me so i went back to the theatre to check it out. turns out that while beefreakingannoyingleong was leaving the place, he accidentally kicked over my bag w my phone it dropped down. yeap. *phew* luckily i got it back.

well, the room mate was just really really disturbing! but i kinda anticipated every sick move she was gonna make. does that show that im like some psychotic lesbian too? hope not. muahaha. i shall go kill your every best friend! okay back to the movie. i thought that gossip girl girl acted well and the lead's ex boyfriend was hot. but other than that, i feel that the movie just comprises of all the sick and warpped thinking of weird people nowadays put together to freak you out. For the sake of those we were planning watch it, i shall leave the details out.

YEAP. so now, it's full-fledged mugging for SATs then A levels! I have no life, I dont need sleep, I dont need food, I dont need nice hair, I just need homework and papers and TYS and notes!!! yeap, slap me if i forget that!

oh and polling day! vote for the right party people!

2011-04-30T09:56:00.001+08:00

Bday wishlist:
-Famous Amos cookies!
-Somebody help me download all the nice in songs and equip me with the skills to do so in future(*)
-bicycle
-earphones
-20 dollar popular voucher(*)
-a set of nice highlighters
-iPhone cover
-cheesecake
-top choir in singapore!(**)
-teppanyaki
-OPI nail polish
-high heels
-starbucks coffee
-a nice boyfriend (hehe)
-maxi dress!
-a nice brown bag
-drumming lessons
-best fries ever!
-corset
-blogskin
-a study partner
-my bestfriend back
-a family photoshoot
-a nice prom dress

2011-04-30T00:43:00.007+08:00

im sure many of you are familiar with this song by now, probably rolling your eyes off your sockets when stupid lame people sing "its friday friday" whenever someone uses friday in a sweeping statement. BUT! seriously listen to this. haha. Its in cheena! Im like singing to it the first time i heard it... 星期五，星期五。。我真的很想跳舞。。。haha, laughed to myself on my way home like some idiot while i heard this.

Realised something recently. This general elections period is where i really witness propaganda at it's saturation point. Political parties' signboards everywhere, PAP's flags flying in the air every few metres i walk. haha. Feel quite guilty being part of the politically apathetic youths in Singapore as what Wendy (my GP teacher would say). As in i know that there are many more parties running for elections these days and its highly anticipated cause the rise in numbers in opposition makes all sit up and feel rather hyped up this time round. But what really matters is the quality of the opposition rather than the quantity isn't it? And how can the opposition keep on harping on the fact that they would be the voice of the people when they dont really state how they are going to go about hearing the people's voices? At the same time, its really tough for them to make a strong point or some sort of promise because being minority in a parliament means that they will mostly be tied at their hands if they get through. Tough life eh?

On a side note, i supercalifrahilisticexpialidociously love 10S51! most awesome class everrrrrrrr. Im getting more and more comfortable and happy in my class with each passing day and every small event together like some concert or outing or ban mian or whatever just makes me feel so bonded to them! :) And best thing is everybody is genuinely nice and rather (not totally due to the existence of a certain TPCI) sensible and sensitive to one another. So like minimal conflict, maximum fun, joy, laughter and peace. yayness gayness! whoots!

Im a happy girl. But a lazy and fat and stupid one. But at least im happy. :)

NEED TO BUCK UP ON STUDIES!

2011-04-24T21:29:00.003+08:00

why is it then whenever i feel like blogging, i always feel like writing emo stuff?

sigh. i feel like im a mood ring, adjusting to the mood changes of everyone around me. Its not that im blaming anybody but i just find it coincidental that whenever i feel happy about something, there's always some other person close to me that isnt feeling the same way as i did. and as a result, my happiness just kinda washes away.

happened at O level results
happened at PW too
happening now. :(

But i guess that's what friends are for, to empathize with each other. I mean, if i was down and out, it would totally suck to see my closest friends opening champagnes, camwhoring like there's no tomorrow, laughing im my face. Selfish? yeah but also kinda true.

I feel like a horrible person. I dont know if it's me or what but it seems like im pissing everyone off. Am i too clingy? Too demanding? Too insensitive or what. Seriously, why do so many of my friends leave me one by one for no apparent reason? Sigh, depressing thought but maybe one day, i'll be left in a house with 7 cats, in a small lonely house.

Arghh. stupid si min. i should get a life.

2011-04-07T21:33:00.006+08:00

oh freak. tomorrow is PW results.

All the miserable PI, GoI, A&E, EoM, WR, OP whatever shit has been evaluated and marked and is gonna be revealed tomorrow!!!!!!!!

I really need this A you know. Especially for tail end people like me who has pathetically low rank points (is it called that?), a +10 for PW is gonna be such a morale booster. Then this spark will have a multiplier effect and cause an inflation for my other subjects' marks! Make sense no?

I WANT AN A IN PW!!!!

anyway, i was feeling rather humourous today and i read the readers digest joke compilation app thingy today and i came across this funny joke.

what do you call a pig who does karate?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
a pork chop.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

2011-03-27T22:28:00.015+08:00

DISCLAIMER: this blogpost is not intended to make ppl feel bad or to let me haolian or whatsoever so please dont take it the wrong way

HEY PEOPLE! its been so long since the last post that i really forgot how to post properly. let me just go straight to the point.

THE JUDE BOX GOT INTO VJC MUSICFEST FINALS!!!

in case you dont know what im talking about, this whole thing started on a very normal school day.....

it was one of the few school days where i actually went for morning assembly and heard the announcements. The announcement person reminded victorians that the day was the closing date for sign ups for vocal solos for music fest. (musicfest is an annual music competition for aspiring musicians, performers in VJ to shine in their own way)

Being the stupid naive secondary schoolgirl wishing and hoping to get into vjc, of course i knew about this competition years ago and watched the famous "nobody nobody but you" housecomm video acted by my friend's sister. Ive always wanted to be part of it but never actually got the guts to really go for it. So at that instant when i heard that announcement, the thought sprang from my subconscious mind to bug me for the entire day. i think that day was a tuesday where i have physics H1 remedial from 4 to 6. so after school ended at 3 plus, i strolled to choir room and sat there weighing the pros and cons of joining.

One side of me was pushing "aiya wtheck, last year already, dont join now then no more chance of joining it again"

then other side pulling "what about your studies? confirm waste a lot of time practising one!"

then the other side retorted "you join solo, whole day just need to practice with yourself right, dont need to spend excessive amounts of time scheduling practice what, you can practically sing any time you want"

Then i asked april and ariel who happened to be at choir room and they asked me to just go. And so i went with ariel with her ridiculous doraemon shoes from tenor horny night performance.

OKAY TO CUT LONG STORY SHORT:
-i signed up
-made the most unimaginable decision EVER to ask beeleong to help me play the piano.
-started practising the song "angel" by sarah mclauglen (i dont know how to spell her surname)

So a few days after that day, asked a few classmates to go to the piano room w beeleong and I to practise and i sang and they gave some feedback. Though they were all nice people, i could tell that my singing really isnt that fantabulous and my chances of getting through were not v high. then cheryl came along and said "hehe.. can i try?" and she started singing "angel" and i started harmonizing, cause that's like my default reaction to any song i hear. Immediately, everybody was like, "eh you should join together, you sound much better" and all... I have to be honest, i was reluctant at first for reasons i shall leave for you guys to infer but i thought about it rationally. If i had a greater chance to making it through to the next round with a partner then why not?

AND TO CUT LONG STORY SHORT AGAIN:
-we practiced angel on the day before the audition day
-sang for a few other groups before auditions and they let us hear theirs too
-got really intimidated cause everybody was very impressive (but we got a little ego boost when they said we were good too)
-went in, sang, didnt do as well as practice but felt pretty confident cause judges gave good feedback
-got pass auditions to go for semis
-practiced a whole lot for our semis -chose man in the mirror or sway -narrowed down to man in the mirror
-practiced somemore
-named ourselves the jude box (will reveal the reason behind our name during finals!)
-found out everybody else were doing mash ups
-added in live like we're dying on the day before semis
-practiced somemore
-went for semis and didnt do as well as practiced but there was really nothing we could do
-got pass semis and we are on our way to the finals!

really never thought that we'd go this far.

I wanna thank:

Cheryl, my great partner whose amazing vocals the jude box owes for getting us thus far.

Bryan leong, the thorn in my neck, whose brutally honest opinions and musical directions have helped us tremendously to advance so far in the competition.

Yu Xuan, Alena, Yun Sol, Jia Min, Jia Yan, Wee Wee for being there for us during practice and for lending us your ears to hear our awful off pitch moments and for making us better through your sincere feedback

the rest of 10S51 for pushing us to join as a group and for being so supportive

our competitors, the sugar content, colon O and Halim's group (really sorry didnt catch your name) for being such nice and unbitchy competitors. thanks for letting us learn from you guys too.

TOFU JAMS for being so eggxited for me! :)

yeap and many more... hopefully, i will be able to continue this blog post in a part 2 version and tell you more good news! but whatever the conclusion is, The Jude Box is really very grateful to get to the finals!

2011-03-09T22:02:00.003+08:00

was watching the 9pm show on chanel 8 and it was showing the typical girl likes boy but boy likes somebody else scene.

When the girl couldnt take the pain anymore, she confronted him and asked him how he truly felt and he said he couldnt get over his current girlfriend due to their 8 years of love.

And she said:

我等你，直道你完全忘记她为止。

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-03-09T12:30:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to expect of CTs. My goals for exams in this critical year goes like this:
CT 1-DDDD
CT 2-CCCC
Prelims -BBBB
A levels -AAAA.

But I don't even think I can deliver the basic DDDD as a really slow and manageable headstart.

Chem was screwed, math was disappointing, GP is unpredictable and Econs is cross-fingers-able. (in other words, hoping for the best but at least still go hope la)

Tomorrow is H1 physics. Its like I have this preconceived notion that H1 is like some easy way out and then if I can't even make it pass this easy shortcut, then I really don't know what to say of myself. :(

I don't wanna pull S51 down again. I don't wanna be lowest 20 percentile or something. I don't wanna hear condescending words from the unmotivating educators from my school telling me "I told you so, what reasons do you have for wanting to keep 4 H2s, when you can't even cope with 3H2, 1H1?

I cannot afford to be doing what I'm doing now. There has to be some sort of improvement I can make. What should I do now?

2011-02-20T22:42:00.004+08:00

heyo people!

i know my previous posts were a little ambiguous, and i personally get very annoyed with those vague posts where i go "who on earth is that person talking about, or what the shit happened?". As a result, im gonna post a post that's so crystal clear that no questions will pop out of your head.

TODAY IS JENNIFER GABRIELLE LEE HUI JUN AKA MY COUSIN AKA BRYAN HALIM'S EYECANDY AKA (okay i cant think of anything else)'S BIRTHDAY!

a few of us, ryan, brandon and olivia celebrated with fergusson and her yesterday at ECP! whoo so cool right! A few... unforseen circumstances popped up but it turned out okay in the end. haha. Actually nothing much can go wrong with a location like ECP and staying up till 2am. Even plain stoning there would make it look like a kinda cool celebration. haha. so kudos to the person who thought of the venue! (ME! ME! ME!)

yeap that's us

Oh and we came up with a very cool cheer/song for them. hilarious actually. dont think im gonna post it up but yeah, it was hilarious. that one must give credits to ryan the big eyes dude. haha. Oh and olivia stayed over after working at the maid agency for the whole day. i thought olivia was unusually high and adorable yesterday. it's like amidst all those stress we faced she was still gibbering there and laughing and remaining highly optimistic. haha. which is good! And it's probably a good explanation as to why she slept the whole day in church.

okay since huijun's prolly not gonna see this, i shall post a few lines of mushy stuff for her:

*clears throat* well thanks for being there for me all the time. like seriously 24/7, even though you probably hear me complain about the same people and the same things bothering me for 10^10 times, you still patiently listen (or at least pretend to) which i really appreciate.

hope we get great guys as boyfriends next time and we can laugh at the stupid shallow conversations we are having about guys now. If you choose your bf over me, YOU DIE. haha

You know i'll always be here for you too yeah? you wont hear me say any of this cause it'll just be weird. haha. and since ive planned/ helped coordinate soooo many things for you today, no present for you. HAHAHA. okay la, wait until we get our pay then i consider what i wanna buy for you. see first. yeap. that's all ive gotta say. Even if you read this, dont tell me you did.

anyway, Common test one is coming really really really really really really really really soon! which means im gonna accumulate big big big big big big eyebags! so who wants to be my source of entertainment these few nights? heehee.

kay that's all folks. hopefully i reach my target for CT1s! wish me determination and stamina!

P.S. i wanna watch black swan, king's speech and 127 hours. somebody date me please. thanks.

2011-02-15T21:50:00.007+08:00

idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk what the shit i am doing idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk
idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk

2011-02-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

Got my fairytale valentine's day. :D

2011-02-14T05:57:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day.

I love you.

2011-02-07T00:12:00.001+08:00

YOU FREAKING PISS ME OFF.

yes i totally hope that you are reading this

2011-02-03T09:26:00.004+08:00

Hello dudes and dudettes!!!

Happy Chinese new year one and all! Whoohoooo. Haha.

Every 初一 starts with a trip to church, with all my wonderful friends and church uncles and aunties. Mass would end with the same old CD/cassette played comprising of instrumental dong dong dong chiang songs and everybody will go up to the front to collect the oranges. Then, after mass, a sea of red and pink would flood the carpark area will the usual phrases "happy new year pull your ear!" and "恭喜发财，红包拿来＂heard everywhere. Hehe. And of course, my favorite part, where us young people go around collecting some red stuff. :D

Oh this reminds me of my very depressing 2010 new year, where I squeezed into my too freaking tight new year dress bought under the influence of peer pressure. I even resorted to sleeping in it because I cannot afford to spend much time squeezing into it on the day itself. THEN!!! after all that effort and that breathless sleep that night, I awaken to find myself down with a serious case of sore eyes. So, I had to go home after church that day and can't go bai nian. :(

Anyway, the next location on the list is saint anne's church all the way at sengkang to visit my grandpa at the columbarium as a sign of respect and tradition I guess.

After which, we'll go visiting at my great grandma's place where we'll engage in some form of gambling and enjoy and feast of traditional teochew dishes. Haha.

No wonder I love CNY!!!! Haha

On a sidenote:
Shermx wormzx and I had a good talk after CSI that day. I'm glad I finally have somebody to understand how I truly feel about choir and other stuff. Sherman, I know you are reading this so I just wanna tell you to not take all these too seriously. Life goes on and someday we'll find people worthy of our time and efforts. Btw, I think you are doing a great job as a friend. :)

2011-01-24T09:22:00.002+08:00

Im serious. That annoying bus 13 driver is out to make my life miserable.

Firstly, I had to check iris and spend a lump sum of 5 cents to check how long he'll take to get to my bus stop. 2 mins. Good, can still run.

So I ran and ran and these group of pigeons were blocking my way. Literally in my path!! It's not like I was scared and cowered in fear of them or something, they were deliberately in front of me, preventing me from taking any steps forward without having o crush them into a pile of bones and feathers! (sorry feeling a bit sadistic now)

By the time I finally got past those disgusting and unhygienic feathered things, I saw him driving in front of me, just a few meters away, at the bus stop. "Si min, can one, just chiong!!!" then when I finally reached, the bus driver happily skid off.

Can't he tell that I really really wanted to take that bus? Can't he recognize that I'm wearing the vj uniform which totally just HAPPENS to be the uniform of the school which lies in the bus route?!? Wait the worst is yet to come.

So I immediately took the next bus 21 because I MIGHT have a chance to catch up at the next stop, besides, they had the distance fare thing so I might as well give it a try. Throughout the ride, bus 21 was such a good competitor, dilligent tagging close to bus 13. Buudden!!! When I reached the next stop and ran towards my bus, he drove off againnnn!!!

Wah sai, I ran until I was about to hyperventilate know! Plus my rubberband disallowed me from taking in enough oxygen to replenish my carbon dioxide filled breath.

Okayokay.... Fine maybe I never mentioned the fact that I could have...left house a intsy weentsy earlier, didn't wear my shoe properly which might have improved my running time, shouldnt have used fb at home.... Haha.

BUT STILL, HE'S DAMN MEAN TO ME!!!

No wonder they call Friday the 13th the unlucky day or something.

2011-01-24T00:12:00.003+08:00

I havent been blogging since such a long time because i really dont wanna start off my year with a string of emo posts. But everytime when i feel like blogging, i wanna rant and just urghh, blast off my anger. So, i stopped myself on those times and tadah the result is, no blog posts.

therefore today, i shall post some happy stuff in a pathetic attempt to make myself happy.

LET ME TELL SOME OF MY FAMOUS FAIL JOKES!

Qn: what's the name of lady gaga's father?

(comm'on, dont make me spoonfeed you the answer, generate at least one lame attempt to answer it"

Ans: Razzi

Qn: WHY?!?

Ans: because PAPARAZZI! hahahahaha

okay fine, i've only got one. hahaa. Eh wait, i got another joke but it's not a joke joke. it's more of something typical coming from my friend which happened to be really funny.

Econs Lecturer: and so, the producers are getting losses.....

Ryan to Joel: eh, the producers are lost, let's go and find them.

Rest of class: *burst out laughing*

Seriously, he's full of crap. anyway, that was quite successful, in making me happier i mean. haha. i feel better already. :) haha. Okay not exactly better but at least it kept my mind off that annoying issue for 5 mins. Okay shit, i reread my post and realised i sounded damn retarded and my joke really not funny.

Anyway, just to let you know. Well, im glad at least one of us is happy now.

2010-12-31T02:07:00.002+08:00

heyo people! RECAPITULATION OF NEW YEAR RESULTIONS 2010! haha

legend: black (original post) red (additional evaluation)

"IT'S A BRAND NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO IT'S A GREAT TIME TO SET SOME NEW RESOLUTIONS!

1. Try to like the people that i strongly disliked in the year 2009 (kinda did, kinda didnt. okay fine more of the didnt part, number 1 resolution fail.)

2. Reach 40kg (OMG. i cant believe i wrote this. but well yes, this one i did manage to achieve.)

3. BE NICE AND APPRECIATIVE (since i was in EMO mode like pretty much the whole year, i think not. :( )

4. Sleep earlier (HAHA. i think i intended this to be a joke)

5. Spend more time with my family every week (dont think i managed to do it)

6. Start the habbit of writing in a diary daily (hmmz. No.)

7. Be more God-oriented (i think i lost focus for this year. need to notice around more for my God the next year)

8. Be friendlier (this one pass lah hor?)

9. Help with my house chores (hehe.... *looks around guiltily*)

10. Stop being judgemental (i tried! i really did! but i couldnt help it.) "

2/10. a miserable 20%. that's like an Ungraded score. So i reckon it is time i started to brainstorm on realistic goals of mah life man. And i should seriously start making a conscious effort to attain it. Next year is gonna be one heck of a stressful, busy, crazy, emotional, fun(?), choochootrain (fast) year. Be it studies, choir, friendships, God, love life, family, church, entertainment, I've got so much to buck up on!

I remembered that i started this thing in my blog posts when i first started blogging. I was convinced that we always get to learn new things everyday so i made a point to post what i had learnt on that day at the end of every blog post. So this coming year, to combat the negativity in my life, i shall post a little section titled "what i can thank the lord for" at the end of my blog post. :)

2010-12-21T23:43:00.001+08:00

I feel like crying.

Am I tired? Angry? Frustrated? Worried? Sad?
I don't know.

I just feel like crying.

2010-12-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

Today was a lovely day and i am feeling happy from skull to toe bone. :) No, not because i have had my first kiss. (how did you even come up with that ridiculous thought!) but because everything was so in place and wonderful today.

Hmm it started out with a lovely ray of sunshine shining in and though i was extremely reluctant to get out of bed, i had to pee so i climbed down to the toilet. But when i was in the toilet, i decided to brush my teeth too then go back to bed. But! i got caught by ying ru's aunt when i walked out of the toilet as she greeted me with the all-too-familiar "yao chi zao can ma?"

haha. so i "hao!" and i sat down expecting toast and oatmeal. However, i've got my favourite xing ren (almond) drink instead with some lovely cake! No wonder they say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day because it totally defined my wake up mood.

Well, then we got prepared and i wore this real nice shirt i got ytd at the wu fen pu market without much bargain but i still like it none-the-less. Everything was just so leisurely done without much fuss and we slowly walked to the jie yun (MRT station) and then all the MRTs just seem to come at just the right time and we were there early! haha (wow, imagine that! Im early!)

When we arrived promptly at the station, we met up with drusilla and dan dan along with dan dan's dad(haha DDD) ---bo fu. Then bo fu drove us all the way up to jiu fen which was pretty high up there because we all fell asleep on the car and woke up to this BE-AU-TI-FUL scenic place. There was shan (mountain) and shui (sea) and ren (people) and shi wu (food) and it was still early in the morning at about 8.30am.

We walked around a bit, okay maybe a long long bit at our very slow pace, looking into all the lil shops which sells useless stuffs like what we guan guang ke (tourists) were supposed to do. Bo fu was super sweet and he helped take all our photos in the squeezy streets of jiu fen old market. Oh i have to sidetrack for a while. I totally think that stinky tofu is a NEGATIVE externality. Like seriously. Its super stinky and it affects all the neighbouring stalls and it's not even that that nice (okay fine i havent exactly tried it yet)! Oh yeah. back to the topic. We walked and shopped and i burned another huge hole in my wallet but at least i have settled choir people's portion.

oh no, im tired and hungry and sleepy. continue tomorrow!

2010-12-11T00:09:00.003+08:00

WHY AM I SUCH A GIRL SCHOOL GIRL!!!!

Girl school girl
def: a girl who melts at everything a guy does that is a slightest bit cool/cute

shiat. I think im infatuated. And like i havent even met that person for more than what? 3 hours? haha. Let me explain myself. This sort of scenario only happens if and only if

1. He is not a Cat High guy. (sorry, but this is a prerequisite)
2. He is taller than me. (preferably >170cm)
3. He is capable of doing something cute.

And the super cool thing that he did was: he drove me on his motorcycle. Not that i'll fall for any Tom Dick or Harry (HAHA) who drives me on the back of his motorcycle because it's not like i have a fetish for bikers you see. The important fact was that, he wasnt even half qualified to do so and yet he is so confident about it and drove me there and back safely.

And because i was such a GSG (girl school girl), having watched like 1001 drama serials, i was imagining if i could, you know... pretend that it was decent to just wrap my hands around his waist and lie on his back. But, ive got my morals okay, everything was so decent. I decently do it the primary school way which was to place my hands on his shoulder. Super unromantic i know but yeah, i did that.

Just one little drawback was that he was such a typical boy i'd fall for, one that's impossible to even get close to.
Firstly, he was taiwanese. (duh, im in taiwan).
Secondly, he has a girlfriend. (not that i actually care about this fact. Never did, never will).
Thirdly, he is not very mature (as in like age-wise)

I should really smack myself. like really. for being such a GSG. Get a grip of yourself, girl!

Oh btw, i ate zhu xie gao (pig blood kweh?) today. A cuisine named the most disgusting dish on earth. It was... alright. haha

2010-12-08T20:37:00.002+08:00

today's my 3rd day of school! COOLIOS WOOLIOS!

haha. my classmates are really nice people who are quite curious about singapore culture. from the many questions that they've asked me these 3 days, i can gather that:

1. they have all watched xiaohaibuben (i not stupid) and recognise it as our national film.

2. thinks that singaporeans are very demure, courteous, shy people.

3. thinks that singaporeans all have mega powderful engrish.

haha. all of which are... rather true... haha. Oh and from the very few days that i have at their school i have 3 great suggestions to give singapore/s MOE:

1. We should totally sell bian dang in school. like pre packaged lu rou fan (braised pork rice) or zha jiang mian (some noodle thing). It's so healthy and wholesome!

2. We should have a 30 min resting session in between school because it was reduce our need to sleep during lectures.

3. Everybody should bring their own huan bao (recyclable) chopsticks and wash them in school! And everywhere should have huan bao rubbish bins. (im serious, it's everywhere)

yeap. they have some english test every morning which test them on their usage of some english words. (and i scored 100, 100, 98 respectively for the 3 days) haahah. okay lah. come here must ego boost a bit before i go home and get demoralised again.

ying ru's been really nice to me, waking me up every morning. (no, i am not THAT hard to wake) and not like being annoyed with me at all. Even i find myself a bit annoying sometimes. cause im constantly holding her back, making her take care of me. a bit of a burden lah. but im trying hard! Im eating my veggies, trying to bathe faster, wake up promptly, not whine.... A lot a lot of things im trying to improve ok. :)

did i mention about this mohawk guy in my class? oh he's quite nice, really cheeky like all mohawk guys are, but he always says hi and smiles and say some you de mei de to me. haaha. okay. oh and taiwan guys are so gentlemenly, they help me carry my bag when i shop! haha. okayokay i shall stop myself.

The girls are pretty nice too! they all have long flowy hair, very dilligent, very caring to me... quite a nice bunch of people.

In the short span of 3 days, ive already attended 3 english lessons, 2 PE lessons, 1 history class, 1 home ec class, 1 calligraphy lesson, 1 chinese games thing, appreciated a taiwan film, went to a paper museum... quite fulfilling but incredibly tiring. Not to mention, their skies darken real early at 5.30pm? and 6.30 looks like 9.00pm. so im always tired. haha.

Im gonna watch a movie tomorrow! harry potter! haha since none of the tofu jams watched it together as planned, i shall watch it with my buddy! and we have planned to wake up early to enjoy breakfast at one of the many stalls near her school. yayness. Im really getting fatter. I can feel it. all the fats agglutinating. eeeee.

OH and i just webcamed with chengwei, kayat, youngyee, bing xing, robin, sean and perhaps a few more people. like just. haha. feels good to see familiar faces. they entertained me with a song! ahah. so nice. and young yee still owes me his qing fei de yi (proper version) which he will sing for me eventually... haha.

weather's turning colder these days. must drink more water. all my pimples popping out too.... :(
very soon, i'll enjoy my very last weekend in taiwan. sobs. must shop more!

and shan yi sprained his poor ankle while climbing down the stairs. hope he recovers soon!

Hope everything in singapore is going fine too. Church nativity concert, choir, class. speaking of class, today's Alex's farewell!!! :(:( WE WILL MISS YOU ALEX!

2010-12-05T22:04:00.002+08:00

hello everybody! i have been meaning to be blogging every single day of my trip. but its already the 6th day and this is my first post!

Im going to my buddy's school tomorrow! (da tong) and im kinda excited to see who i will be spending my time with for the next 2 weeks in school but yet a little apprehensive because of the welcome dinner we had. Let me explain myself. Well during the welcome dinner, we sat with a couple of people from another school. And throughout the dinner, we basically just sat there while they chatted amongst themselves.

you might ask "why didnt you guys make the first move and say hi?". We (me and drusilla) kinda did to one of them but we got really cold replies and the other 2 just didnt really seem to be bothered and moreover, we are the minority... So yeah. anyway, i guess we have the whole of the next 2 weeks to get to know them so i shant set a conclusion so early.

Im starting to miss home now... my gramma, my friends, my house, my food, my bathroom... haha. not that things here aint good but nothing quite like home you know?

It's strange how ive been thinking quite a lot of this friend of mine but i think that my thoughts aint being reciprocated much. so, i feel like its a bit foolish of me to continue thinking too much. so i shall stop. (if i can)

All right, time for me to bathe. will update if im not a lazy pig! (which i sorta am)

2010-10-21T02:03:00.002+08:00

i actually got a lot of things to say one. just that i am very lazy and very sian.

so you just wait okay. the dam will break open someday and everything will spill out.

there are really a lot of things that i need to say out loud. which i will, in due time.

so you just wait okay, just wait.

2010-10-02T00:44:00.004+08:00

Been having a mundane week the last week.

Basically just:
1. Studying during our much needed study breaks in between papers at marine parade library with Alena and Yu Xuan (aka Math, Geog, Physics guru). Met some unexpected people along the way. *winks*
2. Going into the examination hall feeling bright and hopeful.
3. Coming out feeling dejected and worried.
and the cycle repeats. haha

Oh and I lost my umbrella :( the really cute one that jiayee gave me on my birthday! I think it was because I kinda accidentally pushed the seat in front of me earlier that day on my bus ride to school for General Paper. Then the aunty in front of me got really pissed and gave me the stare like every 4 seconds until she got off the bus and still continued staring at me. And i looked back at her with big innocent eyes cause i dont think i deserved her stares. Then i think somethine similar to the *curse-of-the-ryan-eyes* happened and that's why GP was a piece of crap and i dropped my umbrella. :( It was damn suay okay! I was carrying my usual load of stuff on my hands and I panicked when i saw the bus coming cause it was quite late at night already and i couldn't afford to miss it. So i stood up. And my umbrella dropped onto the ground, AND IT STARTED ROLLING! Roll Roll Roll then dropped in the drain with a "piak" sound. So i exclaimed "SHIT!" but couldnt do anything about it cause it was dark and the bus was waiting for me. So i had to leave my umbrella for that cold dark night. Oh and i went back the next day and the day after the next and it was still there. Im still plotting on how i should get it back. haha.

Yesterday (30th sep) was the 1 year anniversary of my dad's rebirth. Though both my parents are overseas for various reasons, they smsed us to remind us about it. Wanted to go to church for a thanksgiving mass but forgot to bring my ez link card to library and only had enough coins for the bus ride home. Anyway, Im really blessed to have a complete family, to have my prayers answered by God, to witness the living proof for his love. Honestly, sometimes when I whine about my parents over controlling, i ask myself "would you rather this? or nothing at all" and i shut up (sometimes. haha).

One more last push towards promos. I'm not exactly looking forward to meet my fate but what can i do? Haha.

JIAYOU PEOPLE! last push!

2010-09-26T03:12:00.002+08:00

i dont know what im doing here at this time when i could be/should be:

-doing my e-assessment 8 times to get ALL the right answers.
-reading my econs notes and practicing until i can pass
-keep psychoing myself that if i retain, my classmate will probably be my OGL (or worse, i'll be in the same OG as my juniors)
-studying
-sleeping (HAHA)
-doing something productive really.

lemme talk about the GP paper.

WHAT THE SHIT IS WITH A PASSAGE ON LADY GAGA WITH WORDS LIKE OSTENTATIOUS AND REPUDIATED!

fail lah fail lah. everybody fail together. then we all retain together, then we kope all the sec 4's VJC slots, then we enjoy orientation 2010 all over again (where is my OPAC?) and PW. Okay fine. maybe not.

next paper is econs. i don't know what to expect from it, seriously. Its like if i get bad results, i have NO ONE to blame except myself cause i didn't do a single tutorial from the start of the year. slap me, somebody.

Anyway, i met up with miss tan today for consultation on market structure. then she told me Alex called her on a friday night to ask her where to find the soft copy of our lecture notes. HAHA. poor thing, have to get hounded by students on a feral friday night and a sleepy saturday morning.

Oh, and i realised my that my mandarin is deteriorating rapidly. which is bad. i shall write a chinese essay for my class chinese teacher after promos. haha. someone remind me.

OKAY. goodnight world. :)

2010-09-19T22:30:00.002+08:00

i ate at Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe for the first time today, after studying at school. Ate with mummy and daddy. Food wasnt amazing, but overall it was okay lah. Since it was my first time there, im happy :). haha.

It was quite some time since we've last had dinner like that. I'm kinda contented. After that, went to er yi's house to visit ah ma. Ah ma looks better from last time. But she keeps mixing me and jie jie up. Must spend more time with her after promos.

Now, im satiated and fat. as usual. But happy.

I need to study. I dont wanna get retained.

P.S. I really miss my secondary school mates. Sarah, Michelle, Jia Rong, Hoi Yan, Kathleen, Angeline, Melinda, Jean Fang, Eunice Chng.

2010-09-11T21:05:00.006+08:00

I know i havent been absolutely optimistic or even a little pleasant for quite some time. But i cannot help it. Im super super super super pissed off/affronted/annoyed/cross/ displeased/ enraged/ hopping mad/ incensed/ infuriated/ irate/ livid/ maddened/ outraged/ peeved off/ ticked off. (there, hope it helps for vocabulary practices)

I spent my ENTIRE day yesterday waiting for my study table/ space to be ready for me to do some decent studying which i desperately need. I suggested to my parents to send me to Changi Beach club for me to study while they settle all their nonsense first then at least my blood will boil for a shorter period of time when i see the mess. But what did he say? No lah, study at home. In the end, WHERE GOT SPACE TO STUDY!!!!!

My patience thinned out by evening time after all the mess and dust. The boiling point was reached when he scolded me for being fussy over where i put my books when i told him that the cupboard that he swapped with me was lousy. Well, i said it was lousy because i used it before and it collapses every few weeks because it cannot withstand the weight. THEN HE GOT PISSED OFF AT ME!

ARGHHHH.

My mess was finally settled after the whole day of packing yesterday. But guess what? After studying at the library today, I return home to find that he placed some DVD player on my study table while occupied like 1/5 of my preoccupied table. And messed up the stuff in my cupboard by putting my bags there. And stuck some ridiculous heart shape on the wall to cover up a nail.

ARGHHHHHHH.

2010-09-09T15:04:00.003+08:00

I don't know what's up with my body.

When im un-motivated and slack, my health is perfectly fine. When i start getting kanchiong, i fall sick. I'm currently down with fever and my temperature is 37.8 degree celsius. After sleeping half a day off, I wake up to a sight that greatly upsets me. My father's bad habit of moving things around the house kicked back.

My study table is full of stupid things that doesnt belong to me and the cupboard that used to hold my school related stuff e.g. files and worksheets and TYS and all disappeared to another room with all my stuff packed in suitcases. Basically, my house is in a mess.

Then when i started complaining to him about all the mess, this was all he could say "如果读不下就去睡,会吃会睡就没关系了" My promos are coming up in a few months! Sleep sleep sleep somemore then i'd just fail every single thing! ARGHHHH.

I really ~~hate~~ strongly dislike my immune system. and my temper actually. SIGH. I need some divine intervention in my life.

2010-09-05T23:25:00.004+08:00

HEY HEY ALL YOU LOYAL SLAMMINKINDALOVE BLOG READERS OUT THERE! (if there's anyone at all)

I FOUND MY WALLET! / MY WALLET FOUND ME!

Okay, what actually happened was...

Last sunday, I was in a rush to go to church (as usual) and that week, i decided not to bring a bag because i wanted to make myself feel compelled to go home asap after mass ended and not like lie to myself that i will do the work that i usually bring to church which actually only gives me an excuse to hang around and do nothing. (omy, what a long sentence. Mdm audra would frown upon this)

Yup. So as i was saying, i was in a rush. I vividly remembered that i grabbed my wallet (the really cute pink one) and my phone with my file. And i maybe temporarily stopped somewhere to comb my hair or something. Then i placed my file with everything on it on the shoe cupboard. And by the time i walked to the car and sat down. I didnt see my wallet anymore. Since i know myself well enough to know that im a sotong head, i presumed that i left it at home or something and my mysterious disappearance of wallet was not that big of a problem.

That was until monday when i still didnt managed to find it, that i started worrying. Because i had my ic inside which contained my address along with my house keys. Which means the person who found it can actually break in without a sweat. Which is really worrying.

So yesterday, my mum and i travelled around our little island trying to get everything right. We went to the POSB branch and made me a new posb card. Then went home for lunch, then went to the police post thinking that we needed to make a police report before applying for a new IC which we dont then went to take ic photo and went to make me some SPECS! :) So after all that hustle and bustle trying to get things done, i was actually (slightly) looking forward to get my new stuff even though i need to pay i dont know how much to replace my ez link and $100 for my ic. (because my current ic photo is SOOOO UGLY!!!)

But today, after we did the usual stuff that we did in church, our family came home. As we were all taking off our shoes at the doorstep, i let out a little gasp as i found my familiar pink cute wallet on the same show cupboard where i last saw it. I immediately opened up the wallet (which was a little damp and kinda smelly) and checked that everything was there. Btw, i didnt have any cash in it. I was broke and still am now as a matter of fact. But everything else from cashcard to ic to library card to bubble tea shop card to yoguru card was inside.

Being the usual analytical me, thousands of possibilities flooded through my mind. What exactly happened? Some possible scenarios were:

1. that guy (im quite sure its a male who did it) stole my wallet from where i left/dropped it. And returned it to me exactly one week later beacuse
a. he felt guilty,
b. realised that it had no money inside and is of no use to him,
c. wanted to use my ez link card till no money then return,
d. felt bad,
e. didnt have the time cause he was busy at work the whole week,
f. of no particular reason.
(g. looked at my ic photo and feel in love with me thus felt that he should return it to me in a symbolic manner which was one week later and the exact spot where i last saw it.

2. My wallet somehow landed in the drain (which explains the smell) and some nice guy saw my address and returned it to me.

3. My family was trying to be funny with me.

well whatever's the case, i wanna say a huge thank you to the person who returned it to me. Thank God for answering my prayers even though im so not worthy of him, my family who went through a lot for me, saint anthony for tolerating my nonsense for asking you to help me find stuff every now and then.

on a side note, RYAN TAY AND FERGUS PHUA ARE DAMN BLOODY FUNNY TOGETHER.

2010-09-02T20:49:00.002+08:00

Im so tired. I havent slept a wink. Im so tired. My mind is on the blink.

*inserts beatles video here*

Went back to Cedar for the roadshow today. Dont really know why its called a roadshow actually but that's really not the point. Its really a huge privilege to be back. Always wanted to be one of those people who come back and publicise about their schools. After selling VJC to all the sec 4s made me reflect on my whole experience here in VJC. Sure, there's loads of opportunities and I got to venture abroad with choir. But am i really happy here? If no, would i be happier somewhere else?

My whole time here appears to be in a blur to me. I do not see any clear goals, any fiery determination to do well. Everything is just lukewarm to me. Its like nothing makes me tick, yet im not exactly nonchalent about everything around me. Life just lacks that little bit of direction that i used to have. And i really need it in order to succeed. (And me losing my wallet just makes eveything 10 times worse)

It's like someone who sees a problem arise, knows that he or she needs to fix it but still does nothing. That's like me in every aspect now. Be it physics, friends, portfolio, results, attitude, choir, wallet, love life (HAHA. YES I AM KIDDING), family, biological clock.

I just feel like a screwed up piece of shit everyday. :( Yet im not doing anything about it. Arghh. I need to get over myself and seriously give myself a big tight slap before every little bit of success i have achieved within this period is taken away from me one by one.

Im ranting. AGAIN. i need to stop. Be happy. Smile. :)

Bye world. Im going to make myself be happier.

2010-09-01T21:17:00.003+08:00

havent been here for forever. And forever this time is not like the usual forever. Its really quite a long forever.

Dont know why im here actually. just had this impulse to waste my time here since im not wasting my life away at facebook.

Went "studying" with Bella today. I realised that Macs is getting more shrewd at chasing teens who like to buy some cheapo $1 ++ thing and sit there the whole day to study. The strategy to solve it is to: BLAST damn loud music that's supposedly to make the ambience nicer just that its 10 times louder than it should be.

Conclusion? It works. (STUPID MACS.)

Update on my life right now. I lost my pink really nice wallet from the flea market which contains:
-ez link (which has concession up to 6th sept!)
-IC
-primary school ez link
-cashcard
-POSB card
-house keys
-no cash (HAHA)
-some cheapo vouchers.

:( I dont know what to do. To keep the faith and wait for it to pop out? or to get on with life and go get everything replaced.

SIGH.

Moving on, I saw a couple today. A couple that i wasnt so sure if they were together or not. Many people are speculating about their relationship and giving their two cents worth on what they feel about their relationship. Truth is, there's really nothing much these people can do about it except to make the couple feel really awkward because of all the talkings going around. After some stalking, I realised that all that matters is that they are happy with each other. The rest of the people should just butt off and let them have their own space. But the couple should know too, that their friends talk about it because they do care about their well being. Don't bear some stupid childish grudge just because of a tiny comment. Meanwhile, i hope you two are happy together. :)

On a side note, I really do love my secondary school friends! :) it was really nice seeing everybody back together and doing a huge billibanja. Cedar billibanja will always be the BEST. TAKE THAT VS KIDS. haha. Ohmy. Cedar is going to go into IP with VS guys. HOW??? Then the pretty, smart, versatile, talented cedar girls will be deprived of getting to know decent guys from Chung Cheng, Anglican high, TKSS and wonderful girls from Saint Nicks, TKGS, XinMin. By the way, good luck to St nicks and Singapore Chinese Girls. I will make sure that i dont send my girls there in future. HAHA.

OKAY. I NEED TO STUDY. I REALLY DO.

P.S. I am back to unmotivated days where there's nothing to look forward to in school. :(

2010-06-28T12:27:00.002+08:00

Screwed up.

Physics was rather screwed up. But. I think wouldn't fail lah huh? Haha. Wah. Somehow I feel like the whole world is saying "fail lah fail lah, confirm fail one" for the sake of saying that. And I think I was like that during sec 3 sec 4. Then if you said you'll fail and scored better than most others then what are you gonna say? But on the other hand, if you say "should be can lah. Wouldn't fail... I think" then at the end of the day you fail, then also very cui. So, best solution is to shuttup and walk away after the paper and don't be hypocritical.

Sitting in the hall reminds me of o levels. Except that it's yellow chairs instead of blue rocky chairs and air conditioned hall instead of the musky stuffy place not fit to be called a hall. And now, instead of familiar faces around me, like yiying and Yale on my sides, it's Fang Qi and some random guy. But overall quite the same lah.

Haha. First thing after the paper, I looked at fang qi and we both sighed. Haha. Come to think of it, I really have quite a lot of uncertainties (pun fully intended) during the physics paper. But I shall remain optimistic and still believe that I wouldn't fail. Yup. :)

Tomorrow: GP And ECONS=wrist break day. (if I can conjure that much crap up)

2010-06-27T16:46:00.007+08:00

just so that i will never forget this. I found this on my tutor's blog:

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

i finally met their dad again today. i really dont know how to put it.

everytime when we were having lessons in the room, i would hear him whistle loudly outside his doorstep. then my student and i would count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. cause everytime without fail he would open the door within 5 seconds and say "hi pong!" then he would shake my hand. same goes for today.

they were telling me like the media and friends and familes kept calling to ask about them. theres this whiteboard in the room and they wrote the timings of all the tv shows they were on. today there were a few visitors.

heres the link to one of the interviews. i think the part where he talked about dinosuars was quite funny.

http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/news/37104.html

1:57 AM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Friday, October 02, 2009

life is just so unpredictable. i didnt know until my friend told me that the guy in today's straits times is actually my student's dad. wth. he was in indonesia when the earthquake happened and he got stucked under the rubble for 30hrs. the picture of the rescue workers carrying a guy out in a stretcher in today's straits times is actually my student's dad. this is so unbelievable. a few weeks ago i just had dinner with his family and everytime i went to his house to teach his daughter he would ask me how im doing and stuff. i really dont know how to go about comforting their family and stuff. but she told me her dad was ok. i knew their family more than a year ago. the picture i saw in the papers today just didnt fit the cheerful images of him i had in mind. i really cant believe it. i hope he gets well soon and return safely back to singapore.

just saw my tutor today again. Reading this post brings back a whole load of emotions and memories. Read his blog posts one by one and realised that he really matured a lot since we last met. I don't know, something about him shows that he has grown a lot mentally and has got a lot of resilience. He came up with a website all by himself in 1 year. I don't know how tough a thing it is but i can tell that a lot of effort from his part went into it. Im so proud of him. Really am. Thank you Teerapong for everything. :) you're an inspiration to me.

2010-06-23T01:33:00.002+08:00

I never knew i could get so worked up over a phone call. If anyone could shrivel up and die of happiness, it would be me now.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

2010-06-10T19:29:00.004+08:00

WELCOME PEOPLE. WELCOME BACK TO THE BLOG THAT IS FULL OF FUN AND LAUGHTER. I HAVE OFFICIALLY REBOUNDED FROM MY EMO PHASE. EVERYTHING WILL BE BRIGHT AND HAPPY FROM NOW ON.
haha but who knows, by the next post, i may be blogging about my grievances again. haha

And hey people. I am sorry but i may never ever change my blog skin because my cousin is being mean and doesn't wanna help me. Being the computer idiot that i am, i will NEVER be able to figure out how to change a complicated blogskin. haha. Either I stick to this cute but kinda childish blogskin or I try to be nice to my cousin for this period and make her feel obliged to help me. HAHA. (or maybe some kind soul reading this can offer his/her help?)

Went to sentosa today with less than half of 10S51. haha. Aiya, I've been so accustomed to this amount of people at class gatherings that i don't feel anything when i see the attendance. haha. Which reminds me of the failed choir gathering the other day before HWA CHONG people left for olomouc. SIGH. Karaoke!!! I WANT KARAOKE!!! haha.

Anyway, back to the "." (point. geddit?) We spent 3 bucks taking the monorail to sentosa and walked to Palawan beach which was supposedly the 2nd most crowded beach but apparently is was very very empty then the whole 气氛 wasn't there. So in the end, we decided to be pigs and crossed over to the pagoda-like tower to..... play cards and eat crap.(Tuna with biscuits was a huge disappointment) haha. Yu Xuan should totally be there. He would have been so proud that his influence had spread to his fellow classmates. (Yu Xuan's love for Bridge has been reflected on all his birthday messages throughout the year--- Wanna join bridge?)

Then when the skies cleared a little, we went to the sand to play ULTIMATE frisbee. My group which comprise of Jasmine, Wen Wei and Edison totally owned the other group which made up of Alena, Tai Sheng, Benjamin, Joey and Puay Hoong. HAHA. Smaller in numbers but greater in strength eh? Which means we saw the other group walking the walk of shame more than they watched us. WHOOHOO. haha.

After which, the guys in a desperate attempt to show off whatever (little muscles) they had, took off their top and went into the water. We managed to swim from coast to coast 4 times, no i am not kidding, 4 TIMES cause we are such fit people. camwhored a little along the way and then we left for home. One thing i liked about today was that there weren't any expectations so everybody just went along and there wasn't any disappointment or frsutration with the outing. Then everybody was happy and satisfied with whatever happened. Yay.

Though i didn't get my desired tan, I suppose the sun made me smile and look on the brighter side of life. Oh and for those who are worried/curious, my fishball eye totally recovered today. :) And I regained my triple eyelid. HAHA.

2010-06-10T02:15:00.004+08:00

Went around blog hopping for awhile and realised that, words can really kill. No matter how beautiful or fanciful the language is, the meaning behind those pretense can really hurt someone deep. I ought to be more careful with what I post....

Was wondering how people actually found my blog, kinda scary if you think too much. What if the people you least expect to be reading is a frequent visitor of your blog? Well, I highly doubt it would apply for my case. No one comes to read stuff anyway.

Anyway, I am in a pile of deep deep shit. I need like really strong, determined people to pick me up from this shit. Mid years is coming up in less than 20 days and yet I'm slacking like nobody's business. SIGHHHH. Help me someone help!!!

2010-06-03T02:17:00.002+08:00

its now 2:17 in the morning.

this tranquility, only achievable at wee hours in the morning finally allows me to think. Think about what i really do wanna say.

This loud whirling sound suddenly builds up from outside. Though a little intimidated, somehow I am a little comforted by it. A reassurance that I am not alone?

What kind of person have I been so far?
Why is it that when I look upon the friendships built by others, I have this aching tinge of jealousy to belong?
Why don't I take the first step to make sure I'm one that people will trust instead of waiting for somebody trustworthy to come along?

I am not oblivious to the kind of vibe that i give to others. This vibe that I belong everywhere, that i can fit into any group of friends. But what's the point of being able to fit into many crowds of people and yet unable to find somebody to identify with?

I am a person who easily make friends, the kind of friend where you can come and go about teasing, whom you can always find for a joke or two, the laughy laughy happy go lucky type. But what happens when the thunders come, the heavens pour and you need a shoulder to lie on? No, I am not the one you would seek.

Which explains why I couldn't find somebody for me in those moments, because I havent been someone there for my friends.

Recently, certain events made me evaluate myself. Led me to think about why such things happen, why I couldn't feel happy when a joyous events come, why i feel so left out even when I am with a group of people. It's because I always wait for things to happen and do not bother to make things happen.

I have been an lazy, irresponsible, superficial friend. No. I don't want to be one anymore. I don't wanna say I miss you and not do anything about it, I don't wanna say let's meet up and yet cancel the appointments, I don't wanna say I am sad and to have nobody who would come and rescue me.

I don't wanna pretend to be happy when I am not. I wanna change. To be a better friend, someone that makes one true long lasting friend instead of ten thousand hi bye friends.

Change. I wanna change.

2010-05-31T00:04:00.002+08:00

rachel wong, you really shouldn't talk to me. i forget what i wanna blog about already after i vomitted all the info to you. okay i am kidding.

2010-05-17T21:38:00.004+08:00

many many many things went by without me recording any of it down. All those hard work, frustration that went down for the past few months of my JC life went pretty much unnoticed while only the picture perfect moments are captured in my camera. That's what i truly dislike about not blogging for so long here.

To sum it up, life's pretty much the same. To break it down, many things have changed. The first few weeks were all the Cedar Cedar omg i miss Cedar period but now, things have more or less settled for me here in VJ. Im not gonna lie and make my life sound absolutely great and whoopeee here cause it aint. Sometimes, things just aren't how you expected them to be right?

Hmm... My emo days were long gone and now, im just trying to get things into perspective and learn from my sister not to regret the choices i have made in life. I sound so vague right? haha. couldn't really be bothered to elaborate much. Sigh, this is what happens when you have too much to blog about but not a slightest clue where to begin.

Many people ask me "Oh, how was your Venice trip? walao you get to celebrate your birthday in Venice! So cool lah!" and all i could answer was "yeah it was nice. The place was really beautiful. :)" People like nice sweet happy answers and that's what i give to them. I don't know. Maybe i was just being overly expectant? Maybe i just don't have really good friends at choir now.

Haha. I'll come back to blog again when i am in a better mood. To talk about the pretty things in life. The sunshine, the smiles and the braces. haha.

and maybe, there might even be pictures (since the longest time ever) if im not too lazy. haha

P.S. i have absolutely, whole heartedly given up on that already.

2010-04-27T00:19:00.002+08:00

HEY HEY PEOPLE!

as always, i am here before to i set off to dubai then to venice. I am still not nervous yet. Hmm. Im just pure tired right now and I finally found that there is ACTUALLY a benefit of rubberbands (which sucks by the way). You see right, when you put rubberbands, your mouth wont open cause they are so freakin tight so, i wont look unglam when i accidentally fall asleep on the plane!!! haha.

Well people, dont miss me too much. (I KNOW YOU WILL). And, just for your info, im coming back on the 5th of may at 8.55pm. HEHE.

okay. i got to go! BYE!

P.S. I realised something dumb. brought motion sickness pills you see and then I realised that i didn't bring water cause you are not supposed to bring water in. Sigh. how am i gonna consume those pills then?

Holidays

2010-03-14T16:31:00.003+08:00

Hellooooo!!!! I haven't blogged for eternity and I am bored put of my wits waiting for something to happen now so here I am blogging. Hehe. Life has been really hectic these days! Or at least for the past few weeks! I'm accumulating my big fat eyebags cause of cheer. Lemme explain myself before you all give me those judgemental stares. I am currently applying for house committee and all house comm apps must participate in house cheer. So that's why I'm in cheer. Haha (not that I wouldn't join if I weren't applying for house comm lah but still, I have a valid reason now. Hehe.)

If I were to play the I have never game right, I would say I have never left school earlier than 9pm for the past week and all the other players will lose muahaha. And the next thing i would say is I have never not gone past a day without making a stupid d*** change to the formation or routine or dance. Yeah. So it was THAT hectic. In fact, we only got to try the whole routine once on the day itself and made like last minute changes 5 min into the perfomance. Really wanted to go crazy for quite a few times within the span of the week. But on the bright bright side, amidst those fatigue the company was great. Phoenix cheer had really nice, (rather) coorperative people, great dancers and strong guys oh and not to forget really wonderful seniors!

From all those late nights at school, I realised that it is actually quite a fun thing to stay up in school till like 12 pm and see all sorts of victorians roaming about doing nothing in particular. And I'm gonna experience that again tmr!!! Practically the whole school is having camp the next week lah. And did someone say that next week is march holiday? What holiday please! Everyday got camp know! Monday Tuesday is choir camp, wednesday to Friday is house comm leadership camp. I'm so dead I tell you. I'll definitely lag damn a lot behind by the start of school. Someone, save me!

I miss TOFU JAMS a lot a lot and Michelle and I singing absolutely retarded songs and Melinda bullying me with every bit of her existence. And choir people cursing and swearing cause of the 1001 choir pracs and (a bit of) feeling like a mugger and actually accomplishing homework on my own. I miss the faces of all girls only without giving a thought to the opposite sex. I miss being in a girls school!!!!!!!!!!! Arghhhh. MR TAN! I miss seeing you and your new hair cuts (despite your amount of hair) every week! But at least bestfriend, Bella, Rachel, Sherilyn, yiying are still here with me so i'm not so cedar sick.

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EEYORE JIE SHI!

2010-03-03T23:12:00.004+08:00

Realised that it should be time where i change my blogskin into something more. Sophisticated. Hmm... What colour woud be nice? Pink? Blue? Green? Grey?

Life has been really tiring. Either that or i've become significantly older and more useless. For the past 3 consecutive days, i actually have the cheek to plonk on my bed/my sis's bed/my mom and dad's bed without accomplishing ANYTHING since i got home.

[Self dialogue] So you think you very smart issit? Huh? AVLSM? *smack* stop being such an ass lah! Start mugging!

I am aching like anything today. Okay. I'll tell you but you must promise not to laugh. Well, today we had our mock napfa test and after probably 20 tries, i still can't jump past 163 cm. But i managed to sail through incline and run(which i didn't need to do) easily. Like what kind of logic is that lah! I'd rather fail at some labour, muscle intensive station than to fail at some noobish standing broad jump station where you belong into the one of the two groups: Can or Cannot jump.

And because i was assiduously prepping myself for the jump, i tried umpteen times and used a lot of muscles in the body including my thigh, stomach muscles (cause must gek the muscles before you jump mah), the back muscles (i don't know what for actually), I am currently suffering from severe muscle aches. SEVERE!!!

And to top things off, my really nice classmate Bryan (cause i know he won't read this) said this really encouraging and comforting words after my failure.

"so the standing broad jump how?"

"i fail lor"

"HAHA short angela cannot jump"

If i was in a bad mood, i'll probably gorge out his eyeballs or something. But since i am a demure girl, i said: "thank you" in the totally sarcastic and giving-the-evil-stare way and hope that he proably got the hint.

No such luck. Sometimes, i really wanna smack some guys in my class. Like really hard and make them hurt.

2010-02-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

HELLO, this is just for my own reference so that when i look back years later, i'll remember how much i suffered.

I took:

4 whole days to eat proper food when i put separators.

1 week and 2 days to eat solid food when i put braces.

? days to eat solid food when i tightened my braces.

? days till i don't need to rush to the toilet to get food off my braces after every meal.

? days till i stop getting ulcers due to braces.

2010-02-09T22:26:00.005+08:00

Guess what? It's second official day of school and i am already sick and tired of it.

We had Chem, Econs, Math, PW yesterday but school ended surprisingly early at 2.30pm. Yipeee for me right? No. beacuse i had choir 3 hours later. It just so happens that all the days where i end school EARLY EARLY are the days where i have to stay back in school for choir till my hyperactiveness drain out of me and i slowly rot to death due to lack of food.

Went to Alena's house to kill the 3 hours and spent most of it trying to come up with some witty comment for the questions asked by the house comm application form thingy with really INTERESTING and RELEVANT questions like:

Is ris low hot?

How black is the black hole?

If i was in KI, i would actually go search out a chunk of information and spam them till they go "whoa, this girl's smart sia" but unfortunately, im not so my answer was: I don't know? I've never been there.

Literally felt like dozing off straight after choir especially since i sound like crap (no, you are not supposed to agree to that). Then surprise surprise! Choir had a lao yu sheng session!!! WHOOHOO. Damn cool lah. :)

Almost immediately went to bed after dinner and brushing teeth so obviously i didn't manage to complete my math tutorial which is VERY VERY bad because it was only like 1st day of school and i never do homework. *slap me* Sigh, as a result, had to use every bit of time to do my tutorial which was sorta challenging to me (which is not a good thing either) and spent the CL break time to do. :( Thus, i set the record time of finishing lunch in braces in 5 minutes since the queue was sooo damn long and SLLLOOOWWWWW.

Today was not fantastic either. I can't believe it but i actually dozed off during physics. I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY DOZED OFF ON MY FIRST LESSON!!!! sigh. AVLSM is an idiot. I need to pull up my socks high high and look toot once again. I NEED TO.

~~I actually had something else to say but i forgot so i shall end my post here. :) GOODNIGHT.~~ I remember already! Mrs Yong, my CT told our class something funny today:

She went to some other class to go and teach for her first lesson and said all the usual old repetitive things like her handphone number and her locker number and extension number so on and so forth. She also informed the class to sms her when they are going to be late or when they are not able to pass up the homework to her.

Then after a while, her handphone vibrated and an unknown number sent her an sms saying "I'm in class now." Feeling puzzled, she turned back to read the number out to the class asking whose number that was.

Looking dazed and confused, a guy raised up his hand.

Feeling slightly amused, she explained to him that he need not sms her if he was already in class.

Then the guy said, "Oh, sorry sms wrong person."

HARHARHAR.

2010-02-03T00:27:00.002+08:00

HELLOO!

Orientation with Pyxis has more or less officially ended. It has been quite a journey for me. To be honest, orientation fell short of my expectations with all those aimless waiting time, awkward silences. But!!! I really really enjoyed some moments with my OG sub group, PYXIS 4!

Thanks to our AWESOME Sub OGLs, Shayne, Jason, Marcus, Estee, Wai Yinn, who tried really hard to fill up every little bit of silence, (to prevent gay babies from being born; there's this theory from Shayne that for every second of an awkward silence, a gay baby is born) by speaking from beginning to end of orientation! Those really funnaye stories about VJC education really entertained us to the max! haha. I particularly loved the finger finger game that we played on second day! And those tap tap games which was oh so pointless.

Mass Dances were so so fun! WHOOHOO. Just to put things straight, i do NOT particularly like the friendship dance okay! My favourite is the chevrolet one! haha. It was a bunch of laughs finding cedarians and giving each other puzzled looks when we both fail terribly to catch the dance. Whoa the I want you dance was an epic failure for me and like half the time im just standing there, watching other ppl dance and when i finally thought i figure out that set of dance moves, it changes.

CHEERING MATCHES were damn cool too. Early in the morning where the whole world is sleeping, we would be like screaming and stomping and cheering into other OG's faces and wake up every cell of our body. HAHA. That's why the hall will smell like.... at the end of the day. haha

Lastly, PYXIS improved from 7th place to 5th to 2nd!!! HOW PRO IS THAT MAN! We were all screaming hysterically when we got above 5th position. haha. GOOD JOB ALL YOU PYXIS PEOPLE OUT THERE! All the sucking up to the Emcees and Game masters were worth it! haha.

FINALLY ending the day with VJC cheers in one voice really is quite a great feeling. :D

wishing wishing wishing that my class tomorrow will be a fun filled one!